Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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