"it" just moved
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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