Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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