I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
