i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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