don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
