So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sober January is a disaster.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
