idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
