Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it's like iHOP with fire
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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