Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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