I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
do herpes really smell.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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