Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
