I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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