hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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