guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
