Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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