Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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