I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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