Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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