The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
