He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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