It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
