Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im just a social blackout drinker.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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