margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
