Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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