So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
