i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
