In the future we'll all be gay
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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