You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
