that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
