Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
