I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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