you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
