Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
