I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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