Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
