Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
