at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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