Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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