Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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