Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
