I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
