I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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