So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
