I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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