Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I need moral support for this bender
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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