he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
