My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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