the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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