We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize