it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
