her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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