dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
