I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
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Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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