I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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