There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
