Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
