He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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