just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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