We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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