I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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