her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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