You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
